Things I've learnt in the last few days

1. When baby cries much more than his usual quota and at a different time of the day than what he usually does, take him to the doctor to get his ears checked, or check if there's a lot of wax / something else coming out of his ears.

2. When you're all set to go for your first hair cut in several months, to get those estrogen powered long hair styled into something short and chic, don't expect your stylist to listen to you - especially if it's a hi-fi hair styling salon.

3. When your baby is small, it is best to call small groups of friends home late evening when he'll be asleep - best way to inject some life into an almost dying social life.

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In the middle of last week, my parents came visiting for a day to play with Atri, as I'd been raving to mom that he's getting very playful and she doesn't want to miss this stage altogether. So enthusiastically, here there were in the morning, which is Atri's best time of the day. He plays, coos, gurgles and naps and things are usually on schedule. Contrary to the regular, that day he had severe crying bouts, falling off to sleep in exhaustion for 10 minutes or so only to wake up bawling. I was wondering is it colic, is it an effect of seeing too many people at a time he's only with me, or is it his cold of 3 days bothering him somewhere? Colic aid and nasoclear nasal drops did not help, and I was lucky to have my people at home that day as I'd have been driven to tears of frustration seeing baby suffer and cry. I'd taken an appointment at the salon for the afternoon, with mom to babysit Atri, but those heartrenting cries made me promptly cancel the appointment. He was much better by 4 and slowly getting back to his usual self. Around early morning while nursing him I felt a big ball of wax sitting in his ear, almost popping out and easily flicked out with a finger tip. I immediately jumped to the conclusion that the impacted wax was the reason for his ear-ache and cries - and since it is out, he should be fine. Well, I was wrong. After the hubby left for office I was with Atri in the balcony where I wanted to check his ear in natural light, and to my utter horror there was something bloody in his right ear, almost crusted blood and some more oozing. Blood and babies don't mix at all. Seeing blood on her baby, is the most horrible thing for a mother I guess and I thought my knees would give way and my innards would fall out- such a sinking feeling that, especially because I was by myself. I immediately paged the paediatrician on his mobile and he said the cold, the crying, the wax pushing out and now the bloody discharge all point to an ear infection leading to a perforated ear drum - spelling out my worst fears. Luckily my presence of mind prevailed and I remembered that one of my neighbours is a senior ENT surgeon. He was kind enough to check baby before leaving for his clinic and said it is a perforation but the extent of it can be known only if checked under the microscope. I called the hubby back home from office (living 15 mins from the office has its advantages) - and we took him to the ENT clinic where the doc cleaned his ear and found a tiny perforation. Antibiotics, cold medication, ear drops, nose drops and lots of cuddles and hugs later, Atri is much better, but this is a big lesson I have learnt. Never ignore a baby who is crying much more than usual - it always means something. It is better to think of the worst than attributing it to cries of boredom or something non-serious.

My big question to doc was why did my baby get an infection - he is exclusively breast fed and we don't even expose him to the polluted environs of this city! He said it is very common, especially after a cold and nearly every baby has his share of ear infection. My biggest worry was the after effect of a perforation, but he said being a tiny one, it will heal by itself. As much as I want that we don't load baby's system with medications especially antibiotics, at times like these, we rarely have a choice.

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Since two weeks I've been losing a hell of a lot of hair each day, I believe a week's hairloss is enough to weave a wig for a small head. So, I did keep my Saturday appointment at the salon to get my hair cut - however not in the style that I'd visualised. I wanted something wash and wear, managable and easily styled and the stylist said in his matter-of-fact way that the styles I wanted did not match with my requirements. Besides he convinced me to maintain the length. In short, it is the usual client proposes, stylist disposes. My hair has never ever been so long, thanks to all the humungous calcium pills I regularly popped through pregnancy. Anyway, I did manage to go to the salon leaving the dad and son to have some guy-times and manage to have my hair styled after ages which itself is a huge positive and a big reason to be happy, even though the end result was not as I'd imagined it would be. Is it ever?? Until then, I'm just going to make myself happy, trying out loads of hairstyles and haircolours and make up - virtually. Try it, it's loads of fun, I promise.

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I finally feel upto posting a pic of me with baby on Facebook :)

A new day everyday

If I thought that Atri sleeping soundly for a minimum of 2 hours after his massage & bath at 12 was the only constant factor in my life, well I said it too soon. Either that or that our little boy is growing up. From the time we came back from the hospital till he was 4-5 weeks, he would be totally doped out after his massage, falling asleep even as the massage 'maushi' was swaddling him (there's a lot to be said about her, which could be featured in many posts, if I find the time). Later, she had to put him in his cradle and rock him to sleep. Then after 2 more weeks she had to rock, pat and sing to him and he would sleep. Now the massage, bath, swaddling, rocking, patting, singing has an effect of max 45 minutes, after which he is wide awake - sometimes crying, or sometimes just saying baa, boo or whatever it is in his vocabulary that 'look, i don't want to sleep anymore'- and there goes my chance of eating a peaceful lunch as I catch something on the telly and then an hour's snooze to refresh me for the rest of the afternoon, evening and night.

Another change has come about in our lives in the sleep department. Since Atri turned two months old, he started clocking the magical 5 hours at a stretch at night, qualifying for the 'sleeping through the night' crown. How 5 hours is called sleeping through the night, especially for us tired adults, beats me, but hey it is much better than being woken up every 2 hours or so. The funny part is that this has led him to awake (and crying?) for a few more hours in the day - so it compensates more or less. The night sleep is divided by a feeding session anytime between 1.30 am and 2.30 am depending on when he went off to sleep in the beginning. He then wakes up anywhere between 5 and 6 am so we really couldn't be complaining as regards his nocturnal protocol. He's being quite generous in letting us 'sleep through the night' even before he completes his 3rd month. A huge "touch wood" here, as I really value the 6-7 hours of sleep I get at night [Hey, whats with us new parents wanting to touch wood all the time, I was never a "wood toucher" before Atri came along!!]

The other thing that he's really caught onto is sucking his whole hand and sometimes both of them as though his life depended on it. Thankfully I am not obsessed about pulling his hand out or trying to wean him of thumb sucking (as he doesn't suck just the thumb!!) - or it would be one more thing to obsess about. On the contrary I find it rather cute - especially the noises that come out of it - and sometimes they are so loud that even as he's at it in his crib in our bedroom, I can hear it in the living room with the telly on. My doc says this mouthing phase is natural, a development milestone in fact and nothing to worry about. No wonder I read that sucking hand or mouthing is no longer a hunger cue once baby crosses 8 weeks. Yeah right, after that it is just their idea of fun. Atri gets so obsessed with his hand that sometimes the hand slipping out of the mouth is a reason to break out into a LOUD wail (series of them). Little dude, you'll learn soon that saliva makes things slippery and your hand is bound to slip out :) and one of my best friends is a dentist so I am not worried about any teeth imperfections if your hand-sucking habit persists.

Ever since my in-laws left for Madras early this month, I have been learning to manage stuff on my own. I finish all chores including my bath and cooking lunch plus most of dinner prep before 8 am - eat breakfast before 8.30 am - that's when S leaves for work. Then my whole day is at the king's disposal. The confidence boost that one gets in being able to manage a new baby on your own is really big. The depression and anxiety I felt when my inlaws left has slowly given way to a new calm and bonding with baby - where I can talk / sing / dance for him without feeling conscious. Well, the calm and bonding is there for most of the day, except on some evenings where the boy decides that mom has had too much calm for the day, hey - it's wailing time and I start to cry again. So my avatars correspond to my son's. When he is peaceful and good, I am a confident mother in control and when he is uncontrollably crying, so am I :)

Today maushi came in a second time a while ago to give Atri a sponge bath ( I called her in as the hubby is going to be late today and he usually manages baby in the evenings) , and she even managed to put him to sleep. But our boy is not going to be fooled to sleep so easily. No sooner had she shut my door and reached the lobby of our building than he woke up gearing for an evening session of crankiness. I am typing this as I am rocking him with my foot under his rocker and for now he is quiet (hand in his mouth of course!)

Yesterday for dinner I made eggplant caponata and dear husband (encourager of my food blog) insisted i make a start with that divine dish. So I am planning on resuming food blogging hoping that it will make me feel better and more connected with the adult world :)