Life in the time of Atri

Milestones at almost 18 months

2010-05-31T14:32:00.004+05:30

Sorry Atri - you have a lazy mother! I keep deciding to update your blog more often and I end up taking longer breaks than before...hope i will stick to my resolve this time as time is flying and your mom's memory is not serving her well :)

Before I proceed on what my son has been upto in the last three months - I want to capture all milestones that he has achieved in this post -

Bends over and picks up objects - especially if its a food item - we never waste food!
Tries to lift heavy things eg. my laptop
Plays peekaboo - behind delicately hanging curtains
Rolls balls and any such objects back and forth
Empties containers of contents and fills them- such as the cookie jar game
Is able to locate and remember objects of his liking in ours as well as neighbours' houses - eg. Biscuit tins
Imitates us- takes a napkin and dabs his mouth delicately after a meal - takes that from his dad I guess
Pushes and pulls toys while walking - poor old stacking turtle of his and now the cycle
Uses spoon successfully and feeds himself many dry foods
Points to nose, mouth and eyes when asked - rest of the parts we have not been persistent in teaching - he'll learn eventually
Runs well - especially when he sees the driver at the door - so that he can hitch a ride with him
Walks up stairs and climbs down holding a hand - we are not brave enough to let him climb down by himself :O
Walks backwards when we call him to us for a hug - how predictable!
Plays with the ball
Helps around the house - yes for sure, especially grabbing the broom from the househelp and showing her how to do a clean sweep under the sofa and such. Give him a napkin or a cloth and he goes about dusting every nook and cranny and even mopping floors - we have a diligent worker on our hands
When he throws something on the floor or does something funny, he'll put his hands to his mouth with an expression of 'AHHH'
Turns pages of books and bites them off too - even board books aren't spared
Points out to bow-bow and cat in the books - he'll open only those two pages
Knows the correct way to use many objects - laptops, chargers, mobiles, telephone, remotes, broom, comb, handbags etc etc
Has gotten very attached to his (formerly mine) blankie and we wont go anywhere without it. Fortunately needs it to sleep only.
Throws a tantrum when he is not allowed to go with the current love of his life - the driver or when he is all ready to go out and we don't take him out immediately
Has reduced two day time naps to one, since he started attending playgroup one month ago
Responds to many directions in English, Tamil and Hindi- sit down, get your mum-mum chair (to eat), keep your feet properly on the cycle, get your blankie, get me the remote, give this to daddy, etc
Plays excellent hide and seek - seeks me out in the first shot no matter where i hide even in the dark!
Kicks a ball or our heads - anything which comes in way of his foot
Speaks the words - mamma, da, light, ball, bo-bo, cat, mum-mum(food), owter (water) and some others which I cannot figure
Can distinguish the foodie pics on board book such as fruits and pretends to eat them from the page (born to two great foodies, what else can we expect?)
Shows the action 'not there' / illai / kaanum with his hands - when he sees an empty plate or a person he expects to see isn't around.
Throws the ball over his head - god save my cup of tea when he does that around me
Has been dancing to music for the last three months - some more steps have been added to his repertoire - more hand movement, bum movements (Kadavule!!)
Indicates to us that he's doing potty by lifting his tee and rubbing his tummy, inside the diaper of course! And tries to pull down his pants for us to clean him.
Co-operates while changing clothes by putting hands and legs in the correct openings of clothes - this is more accelerated when we utter the words 'Narasimha' (driver), 'tata' - with the hope of going out someplace and getting a ride in the car, for which he has developed HUGE fascination
Is in love with all wheelies, loves to sit in cars, cycles
Biggest milestone is that he's able to stay away from mom and dad for 3 hours a day, 5 days a week, in his playgroup - interacting with kids his age or older and adjusting to environs other than home! God knows that this a BIG one for us!

The guidance for building this list is from the chart in Babycenter India
He is on or ahead of track in almost everything, except speech - I'm told boys are slow in this respect - or is he already learning to be the strong-silent types like his dad? Only time will tell!

A year and a quarter

2010-03-05T13:44:00.003+05:30

Ok, for those of you who read the earlier story, nanny no.3 did not turn up - she supposedly fell sick on the day she was to join and then decided not to join after all, which is good in a way. I'd feel worse if I wasted time and energy explaining to her scope of work and then she quit on day 2 like the earlier one.
As I type this, Atri has figured out to dance and understood the connection between the word 'dancey' and moving his hands in a dangerously bhangraesque fashion - but we are enjoying it thoroughly all the same :) Rocking him to Channel V / MTV / VH1 to put him down for his morning nap is bound to have some effect somewhere!
We brought in Atri's 16 month with nothing out of the ordinary. No cakes or bakes this time. Just a screaming fest with another new nanny - he doesn't seem to like her at first sight, but we aren't giving up that easily. We have taught her to bribe him (with what else but biscuits) in order to get into his good books - lets hope that works. It's funny how vehement he is in his protest at bringing in yet another new person inside the house. It's almost like he is screaming at the loss of all the exclusive time with mama dearest and presence of an intruder.
He started walking on 15 Jan and it completely changed our lives! And just last week while visiting a relative's house with a staircase, he started climbing up confidently holding the side wall. He isn't satisfied just walking, wants more interesting avenues like climbing onto sofas, boxes, stairs, just about anything. It's been over two months that he safely gets down from the bed by himself - lowering himself onto the floor with utmost caution - it's cute to see his concentration.
He's yet not that into tv, but for certain ads featuring models / beautiful women. The Ponds whitening cream ad featuring a song from Bachna Ai Haseeno - Khuda jaane ye kyu hua hai, keeps him glued to the screen for the full 30 seconds and he'll come running to see this particular ad whichever room he is in, if he can hear it streaming in the air. The title song of the movie Wake up Sid, once manage to hold his attention for the full 3 minutes, which is HUGE for him.
Food wise we are only progressing to a wide variety of cuisines, still not giving him any nuts - which may be needless but I aint taking any chances.
He has been staying alone for a couple of hours with our househelp in the evenings when hubby and me want to go out for a baby-free date and it's a fantastic progress for us clingy parents. Yes, that wasn't an error. Sometimes the clingy baby in turn makes his / her parents so clingy that I wonder if he is more stuck to us or we to him! In fact both of us almost abandoned the thought of our first date together leaving Atri with our maid alone at home - but then we gave some mental pushing and finally made it.
The high chair is no longer of any use to us as our little acrobat easily wiggles out of the straps and buckles and is ready to stand on the table instantly bringing our weak hearts to our mouth. Thankfully it can be converted to a regular table and chair when Atri is ready to use it, so I am not entirely regretting my decision to spend on this piece of furniture.
I think I speak to him quite a bit but he hasn't started saying out any words clearly - mumbles a lot, especially when he pretends to talk to the dog next door, but we are still waiting for him to say some words with understanding :)

Keeping fingers crossed over nanny no.3

2010-02-21T21:01:00.004+05:30

Even before Atri was born, I had decided that until he is six months old, I wont engage any help to look after him. Call it paranoia or being over-cautious about his budding immunity, that was the decision and I decided to stick to it. We were in Bombay then and someone recommended an 'international nanny'. By that, I mean that she had gone to several countries on baby-minding assignments. She was 40 plus and while I did not find her too good at first glance, I thought of giving it a go. She lasted all of 4 hours. So I'm not even calling her Nanny no.1.
Then I almost stopped looking as we were to move to Hyderabad in October and I did not want to go through the trouble of looking for Ms.Right, training her and then leaving in a few weeks did not seem worth the effort. When I moved to Hyd, i was told that there is no dearth of help in this city and I would find plenty of people to fit the role. Somehow I was in no hurry to find someone as we were going to be in Chennai for over two weeks around Atri's Ayush Homam. We got back on the 30th November and 2nd December Nanny 1 joined in.
Lakshmi was street smart, vivacious and managed to get into Atri's good books right away. Atri was still in the phase of stranger's anxiety where he would not like to go to anyone but me or S - Lakshmi however, found a way to get him to like her and I liked her a lot for that. Even if he cried while letting go of me, she managed to pry him away and divert his attention. She used to come in by 10.15 am and leave by 7 pm. We went for a couple of lunches with her in tow, where she would take care of Atri. Even in a luxury five star hotel, she was at ease taking Atri around the premises, unfazed by the new places or people. I liked that about her. While I'm the one who used to bathe, cook, feed and diaper change for Atri - it was a luxury just having another person around. The luxury of having an undisturbed meal, watching a favourite TV show or having someone else putting him to sleep in the afternoon was a new experience for me. My parents came for a week around New Year's Eve and my mom was impressed by the way Atri got along with her. We did have some minor hiccups with her, but overall she was fast to grasp new things and I was basking in the luxury of a bright nanny. Alas, it was not to last.
Seven weeks after joining, her older sister came in asking to increase her pay and shorten her working hours as they were to move further away from from where they were staying. The lady's mannerisms and loud argumentative nature put me off completely and we had to let the girl go, instead of chugging along with someone who's caretaker decided to hold us to ransom. Our security cum handyman who had brought in Lakshmi in the first place, assured me that it was best to let her go and that he would find someone good soon.
In the next three weeks, several people from ages 8 to 50 came around looking for a nanny's job. Word spreads fast around here. We managed to send everyone packing. We are strictly against employing children and the 50 year olds would barely be able to catch up with a super-fast Atri.
Nanny 2 landed on 1st of Feb, a supposedly 15 year old school drop out. She seemed dull and disinterested but on the insistence of her mom, who worked in the building, we decided to give her a try. She was everything Lakshmi was not and Atri started screaming the minute he saw her face. The first day, my mind flitted back and forth between nanny 1 and 2, comparing and how sad it was that I had to let the smart one go. On day two, I had my fill of the second one. She did not know how to handle my little one and she was playing with his toys while he was doing his mischief in another corner. I had made up my mind to ask her to leave after she has her lunch. Luckily I did not have to ask her to leave as she herself felt the same thing and she asked to be sent off :) Boy, I was happy! I don't blame the girl. It was her first time at work, other than helping her mother in her employments. The responsibility and maturity that (hopefully) comes with age was missing in her.
Since then until now, I was back to managing Atri by myself while S was at work. Back to square one, I had given up the idea of going for a walk or yoga class for my battered back. I was so upset by the inadequacy of nanny 2 that I had given up looking for someone when day before, S's colleague sent the daughter of the lady who cleans their office. I was still in two minds whether I must engage her services and she is another school drop out who hasn't minded kids before. Saturday went off peacefully and today was the opposite. After a disturbed sleep schedule, he was majorly cranky all day until he slept off a couple of hours ago, which helped me make my decision. I have called in nanny 3 tomorrow. I'm okay with the inexperience as long as she is willing to learn and has a basic inclination towards kids! Keeping my fingers crossed...
To engage help to look after our babies or not to is a big dilemma, at least for me. This is a matter for another post. Now I'm ready to drop off to sleep...If you have any thoughts on this matter, would love to hear them!

Too much too fast

2010-02-17T10:59:00.004+05:30

Each day the thought that I haven't updated this space, pricks the mother's conscience in me...and today when Atri did two new things in a span of two minutes, I realised that things are going too fast and it's now or never. If I don't record these memories now, it'll all be washed down the drain of a multitasking mom's scant memory, which by the way has been proved wrong recently.
So what led me to this sudden posting is that we were watching CBeebies while eating breakfast, Boogie Beebies to be precise and Atri actually started imitating the dance moves the kids were doing on TV and he's not a guy who's attracted to the telly in anyway. All the Baby Einstein DVDs that we loaded up on are lying around, except when he decides to play with the DVD covers - to bang and throw them around of course.
The second thing that astonished me was that he has made the connect between the switches on the wall and the electrical appliances. We have a power shut down between 9 and 10 am everyday and today at 9 am when the lights and fans went off, he immediately tugged at me to take him to the switchboard so he could turn the switches on - I had to explain to him - "Not now baby, there's no electricity to power that" - while I understand electricity and circuits are some heavy duty physics to explain to a baby, he's not going to question me on that now - so I can plan my answers later.
One minute he seemed like a kid who didn't understand a thing and now he understands much too much!
It's been just three days that I'm trying to keep him diaper free after his first potty in the morning, taking him to the washroom every 45 minutes or so to make him pee. The second day, as soon as we pulled his shorts down and he entered the washroom, he started peeing, all amazed at the stream of water produced by his body :) Call it timing or whatever, am I happy or what that he's making such associations.
Some other ways in which he makes us smile:

Lightly taps his hand on his forehead whenever we say 'aiyayo'
Goes around giving imaginary things in people's hands when I say 'prasadam' - this must be the good side effect of diligently taking him to a temple each Sunday - where the priests in every alter give us the 'theertham' and 'kalkandu' prasadam.
He can't tolerate the landline receiver being on the hook, the second he spots it in its place, he HAS to take it off, press the speaker phone button, press some random buttons and here the BSNL operator give us gaalis in different languages. He even pretends to have a conversation with her! This has been going on for a few weeks now. So people don't complain that you can never reach our landline.
He has figured out where his food items are placed, including the secret hideouts in the neighbouring Paati's house. Last week I was feeding him chilled yogurt which he saw me remove from the fridge - when he saw that the bowl was getting empty, he promptly went to the fridge and started to egg me on to remove some more from inside. Biscuit dabbas' locations are all hard wired in his brains. Since quite some weeks, each day when he goes to the neighbour Paati's house, he pulls her sari towards the cupboard where she stores his favourite treats. Since a few days, he has figured how to open it himself, but asks us for help to open the tins.
He has taken a huge liking to my fleece blanket of the last five years and needless to say has made it his. Just touching his blankie makes him put thumb in mouth and he gets a feeling of great comfort - if we are going someplace where we plan to stay late, we don't fail to carry the blankie with us.
His interaction with the poodle next door is very heart warming, especially when he tries to lie down in front of him, looking at him eye to eye and having a romantic conversation, almost trying to kiss him :) I don't let him get 'that' close, in the poodle's interest.
Food-wise, i cannot even make the effort to list down all that he has eaten. It's easier to make a list of what he hasn't eaten so far - probably just three items - nuts, eggs and bittergourd...he eats pasta, soups, regular curries we make at home with moderate spice levels that we eat, just about everything and I truly thank God for that.

The last three months

2009-08-31T22:32:00.005+05:30

Playing in the kitchen as I work

So as the title suggests, it's been three hectic months since I updated the blog.

Here are some memorable moments -

In the beginning of June, we did a Thulaabhaaram in the local Guruvayoor temple where Atri was weighed on a large balance with bananas. Little did we know then that bananas would turn out to be his favourite food. He was surprisingly very calm as the priest laid him on one side of the balance.

I took Atri to stay at my mother's for the first time as he turned six months old and he displayed a very strong stranger anxiety, going to absolutely no one and clinging to me as though I would disappear in thin air. I almost cut short a weekly plan to a couple of days as I had to attend to all his needs without a break and was missing S desperately to relieve me. Thursday arrived and S gave us a big surprise by taking the day off and landing up in Mulund. Atri's bad boy phase vanished the moment he laid eyes on his dad. May be he was missing him too!

End June also brought home Atri's uncle Kaushik, from Philadelphia who spent a few days with us. Luckily Atri didn't display too much stranger anxiety this time. We also dared to take him to Rajdhani restaurant with baby in tow - after two minutes, his patience was exhausted and we took turns pushing him around the floor of the mall while the others attended to their delicious thaali.

We love our meal times

We started Atri on solid foods just as he turned six months old, going by the book. His first food was mashed bananas, liking both the green and yellow variety alike. Next in line was mashed boiled carrots, stewed apple and then many many more. In the last three months, Atri has tasted the following:
Cereals - Rice, Ragi, Sago, Rava
Fruits - Banana, apple, papaya, chikoo
Vegetables - Carrot, pumpkin, potato, sweet potato, beetroot
Others - Moong dal, Farley's rusk, Gerber's Oatmeal-apple-cinnamon, Gerber's Sweet Potato, Cow's milk, Rice Cerelac, bits of Marie biscuit, bits of Idli / dhokla
He has had them in all possible interesting combinations which is the subject of a different post altogether.

Me-Athai-Atri

My dad's sister, Lalli Athai came after 20 long years to India and she was nice to spend a day with us end July on her way back to the US. She got many cute clothes for Atri including an Auburn University jersey set :) He got along pretty okay with her I must say. However, he refused to stay quiet with my mom and sis the afternoon I stole out with Athai to take her shopping. They had to run to my house-help Nirmala's house to get her to quieten and mind him until I was back in the next one hour! My entire building and part of the neighbourhood came to know of this episode where a shopping-starved mom left her baby crying with her mother *red faced*

With my baby on Varca beach - Goa

After Athai's visit, it was time to prepare 'the big list' for our first travel with Atri. The last time I'd taken a flight out of Bombay was in November 2007, so it was a much awaited trip, first to Goa, then back home for a day, unpack, repack and off to Bangalore. We traveled Business three out of four flights. As we failed miserably in getting Atri to take to the bottle, and I had to nurse him during take off and landing, business class provided the much needed privacy. It was my first experience feeding in public. After the first flight though, I couldn't care much. But I do hope this was the last time I had to do it. Goa stay at Club Mahindra was fun. Atri enjoyed our taking him out at least five times a day if not more. We stayed mostly inside the resort, taking spa sessions, beach walks, admiring the landscaping in the resort and occasional buffet binging. We managed to stick to our diet most of the time though! Bangalore was good fun. Atri met another set of grandparents - Meera Athai and Athimber, who took very good care of us while we were there. S's parents were also there on a short break, so Atri met up him Paati after five months. S's dad had been with us for over a week end June as we were all down with flu / cold with no one to take care of us. Sadly, Atri did not show any extra familiarity to Thatha :)

Figuring out the Kinetic in Mysore

We went for a day trip to Mysore - the onward journey taking over five hours and turning out to be Atri's longest road trip. We met up with my aunt, uncle, cousins and my little nephew Sumedh making our trip worthwhile. The whole travel experience was very positive, and the next step is to shake off my laziness and get documents organized for Atri's PP - and get cracking on a peachy plan for a trip abroad.

The large living room in Meera Athai's house also injected a heavy dose of enthusiasm in Atri to get moving and he finally start creeping around. First hesitantly and then in all speed. Now he keeps rushing towards Nirmala's voice, any scraps of paper / plastic / threads and his stroller's wheels. He'll also do he needful to reach out to some of his favourite toys or their boxes.

August brought in the long-awaited visit of my in-laws from Chennai. They were in a day after we landed home from Bglr - so the hectic unpacking and clearing up the house was tiring enough to make me forget I'd gone for a vacation at all! Atri displayed his moody self to them despite spending a few days with them in Bglr. But there is progress and today I can leave him alone with them for a couple of hours, without breaking into a sweat. Atri's Paati has gotten two lovely personalised quilts made for him - Snow bunnies and Disney Friends. While Atri plays on his quilts - he'll realise how lovely they are once he's able to comprehend better and when he can read the alphabets. There's another alphabet quilt in the making. He's a lucky fella, what else!

I bought a cute pair of full denims from Mothercare with a comfy broad elastic waist band - I guess Atri will fit into it nicely by Diwali. Whenever I go shopping, there's only enough time to pick out Atri's clothes. Though I did have sometime inbetween to pick out a pair of skinny jeans for myself, to flaunt my new waist size :)

I have reached way below my pre-pregnancy weight, but as that wasn't my ideal weight to start with, I have a slight bit more to go. A diet and finding time for regular walks is helping and I hope to be a yummy-mummy soon (well, yummier)

Atri has started displaying affection generously - biting my chin or cheeks, patting my still jiggly belly and blowing BIG raspberries on it, which makes me burst out laughing. He can sit without support for some stretch of time and stands while holding onto hands or some support. He's very quick to sense that his dad is back from work / run, and coos as soon as he hears the doorbell ring, raising his arms up to daddy as soon as he spots him. His sleep has become disturbed and we fret about it a lot, but hey, I'm focusing on the positives here ;)

I hope to get regular on this blog as it's very tough trying to recollect what happened three months ago, as I'm realising now. Time is moving very fast and too much is happening too soon.

Atri - my little sweet potato, I'm falling more and more in love with you, as the days go by! God bless you my darling.

Nearly there

2009-06-01T08:54:00.005+05:30

My mom and my son

Atri turns six months old on 4 June. And if times were flying fast earlier, now it's at supersonic speed.

I've come to know more people in my building in the last two weeks that I've been taking him down for a stroll, than I've known in the 3 and a half years that we've lived here - and I mean from ages 2 to 85 - not bad eh? How is it that a baby in your arms makes you more likable to others? More approachable rather. Earlier I was aware of only 3 kids other than Atri in the building and I just discovered there are two more, and the moms have been kind enough to offer me their no-longer-in-use strollers, Baby Bjorn etc. - not to mention tips to find a right maid and some more useful advice.

A baby is always a good starting point for a conversation, even with complete strangers. Besides, earlier I would never be loafing around the building in my free time, just to chumma hava khaane (just enjoy the breeze I mean) - of which there is plenty now a days. Thank God for a decently bearable summer with lovely sea breeze in the evenings - especially because my boy is pretty heat-intolerant, developing furuncles (boils) in his ear and now nose with some regularity. Antibiotic therapy is something we are growing used to, and I no longer lose sleep over the fact that my baby is being dosed on 'strong' medications. If we have to live in a polluted, hot and humid city, we just have to take this in our stride.

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We successfully spent a night by ourselves (Atri and me) - and I overcame my fear of staying the night alone with him (I thought I could only manage the daytimes). This was when S had to leave for a London trip for two weeks on a Sunday and my mom could make it here only Monday morning. Well, that is one fear less now (actually two, first one was fear of dosing antibiotics). My mom's time here was a good break for me, as in I could take a nap without keeping one eye and one ear open (if it is possible to nap like that) - she could spend some quality time with her grandson. Unfortunately it happened to coincide with some irritation in Atri's life (lets attribute that to teething for now) - and we started him on Denton homeopathic pills - which made him much sober and less keen to pounce & bite (with gums of course, no teeth yet) my ear, nose, chin or cheek, whichever was closest to his eager mouth. So I'm assuming he was in a kind of teething phase and the pills helped him cool off a bit. After that, it was more or less smooth sailing for granny and grandson. As much as I was waiting for S to come back and the two weeks to pass off soon, I was also sad that it would mean the end having mom around to free my hands and eyes for a while to do and see other stuff.

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Anyway, it's two weeks since then and we are back to being by ourselves. A building friend has kindly passed on her stroller to us. The first use of the stroller, which I discovered quite accidentally was when Atri napped off while being taken around the house in it, and this was when he was a bit cranky to sleep mid-morning. So I now use the stroller as method no. 79 to put him to sleep. This method has just placed itself one position higher than the earlier discovered 'Radio-gaga' method, wherein we had to start the FM radio (Worldspace Jazz channel or some soothing CDs wont work here) on full blast with surround sound in the living room, clear up the floor space and dance to the music wih Atri on shoulder until he fell asleep, unable to bear the torture of the St.Vitus' dance. This is was a foolproof method that worked 98.97% of the times. Only that it turned out difficult to use this for putting him to sleep at night after a good dinner, where a full belly presented an impediment to free-style dancing (with weights). So the stroller method turned out easier for times like these.

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At just over 5 months of age, Atri's become a big brother to my cousin's son Sumedh - who was born on May 6th. I can foresee a lot of bonding between the two boys as we are going to be living close to each other soon.

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We tried a dinner at a proper Italian restaurant with baby in tow a few days ago - we did all the things 'What to expect' asks us to do - Calling ahead, warning about baby, going in early etc. - and we managed to eat one course when he got fed up sitting on his bouncer chair throwing those little hangings around and we had to pack up and leave, only to finish the remaining food at home. I had the foresight to inform the waiter about this too. The restaurant was not to filled at that time and I didn't get any angry glances from people around, so I'm willing to try this again sometime. Otherwise, we went to the neighbouring Crepe Station for breakfast yesterday and it went pretty okay. My friend, S and me took turns holding him and eating, and Juhu people were busy sleeping at 9 am on a Sunday morning, so a few cries and no harm done. Another big event attended with Atri was my med college reunion on the last Sunday (24th May, coinciding with IPL finals). There was DJ music (very loud) and a big crowd (for us anything more than 3 is a crowd, and there were over 50-60 people there), S carrying Atri in his carrier. I managed to spend over an hour there catching up with classmates whom I hadn't met in the last 9 years. Most had come with their kids - and I was much appreicated for coming in with a small baby ;) and a very caring hubby! It was funny how the boys from my class (now big physicians and surgeons) were treating S like a damaadji telling him that "dinner will be ready soon", "don't leave without dinner" etc. A lot of contacts renewed and it felt superb that I could make it.

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I have also started doing some work off and on - taking up some writing assignments from friendly people who give me easier deadlines and accept my excuses like ' nanny joined and left' etc. More on that in the next post.

Some firsts

2009-04-11T11:57:00.003+05:30

We've always been a social life loving couple - hardly staying at home on weekends. I'm not talking about gracing page 3 parties (even if someone invited us I mean), but going out to restaurants, movies, friends' places or getting friends home. Which restaurant to try out anew was a topic of much debate from Friday night onwards and we'd compete with each other to post the review on Burrp - our favourite restaurant review site. But things have changed so much in the last 4 months. Our last dinner together was on our anniversary a week before Atri was born at Mangi Ferra and since then we've been ordering out from places which are not exactly on our favourite list, or pleading / threatening some of our favourites to come the extra mile and deliver food home. Since last Sunday, things have taken a turn for the better - last Sunday we took Atri to our neighbourhood posh (air conditioned with dinner napkins) Udupi restaurant for breakfast. While we demolished the piping hot Upma-Shira and Masala Dosas (and filter kaapi), he managed to sleep to the instrumental music playing in the background. And you could spot the happiness on my face from a mile!!

The same week, my friend and me went out to a pub (that serves a wicked buffet lunch) with Atri in tow of course. While he wasn't as peaceful as he was in the breakfast episode, he was good enough to let me go up to the dessert course. As my friend tells me, expecting him to sleep each time we go out is asking for too much. As long as he is not crying loud enough to bring the place to a stand still and the people's glares are not burning holes into us, we are doing fine. Now I'm waiting to take him to the movies. Please pray that you are not a part of the crowd in the multiplex screen that we dare to hit for the first time with him ;)

We also took him to the lovely park in our neighbourhood, where S walked with him in his carrier and I walked by myself as fast as I could after the long break in physical exercise. I could see women give S appreciative glances as the daddy who's taking care of baby while letting mamma get her much needed dose of exercise. At this point I couldn't help remember the episode from Everybody Loves Raymond, where Ray takes the kids to the park one evening and amasses a fan base from all the moms struggling alone with their kids.

Atri has also been getting licks of my favourite fruits like apple, oranges and bananas, along with an occasional lick at Parle G biscuit. Instead of making him taste my current most favourite Ginger Nut McVities, I thought it's a better idea to make him get a taste of India's largest selling biscuit and instill a sense of patriotism in him.

He is not yet turning from back to tummy independently as his hand fixation continues, but a slightest nudge with my little finger does the trick and he enjoys lifting his head up to do a perfect bhunjangasan and explore the room around him. His sleeping hours at night are more or less fixed except for some unlucky days (for me) when he wakes up in 5 hours and makes loud hand-sucking sounds.

We're trying to introduce his toys one at a time so as not to overwhelm him. Otherwise, life nowadays is moving very fast and I'm trying hard to record the little things about our lives now that will be over too soon and I'll miss later.

Things I've learnt in the last few days

2009-03-30T08:31:00.006+05:30

1. When baby cries much more than his usual quota and at a different time of the day than what he usually does, take him to the doctor to get his ears checked, or check if there's a lot of wax / something else coming out of his ears.

2. When you're all set to go for your first hair cut in several months, to get those estrogen powered long hair styled into something short and chic, don't expect your stylist to listen to you - especially if it's a hi-fi hair styling salon.

3. When your baby is small, it is best to call small groups of friends home late evening when he'll be asleep - best way to inject some life into an almost dying social life.

In the middle of last week, my parents came visiting for a day to play with Atri, as I'd been raving to mom that he's getting very playful and she doesn't want to miss this stage altogether. So enthusiastically, here there were in the morning, which is Atri's best time of the day. He plays, coos, gurgles and naps and things are usually on schedule. Contrary to the regular, that day he had severe crying bouts, falling off to sleep in exhaustion for 10 minutes or so only to wake up bawling. I was wondering is it colic, is it an effect of seeing too many people at a time he's only with me, or is it his cold of 3 days bothering him somewhere? Colic aid and nasoclear nasal drops did not help, and I was lucky to have my people at home that day as I'd have been driven to tears of frustration seeing baby suffer and cry. I'd taken an appointment at the salon for the afternoon, with mom to babysit Atri, but those heartrenting cries made me promptly cancel the appointment. He was much better by 4 and slowly getting back to his usual self. Around early morning while nursing him I felt a big ball of wax sitting in his ear, almost popping out and easily flicked out with a finger tip. I immediately jumped to the conclusion that the impacted wax was the reason for his ear-ache and cries - and since it is out, he should be fine. Well, I was wrong. After the hubby left for office I was with Atri in the balcony where I wanted to check his ear in natural light, and to my utter horror there was something bloody in his right ear, almost crusted blood and some more oozing. Blood and babies don't mix at all. Seeing blood on her baby, is the most horrible thing for a mother I guess and I thought my knees would give way and my innards would fall out- such a sinking feeling that, especially because I was by myself. I immediately paged the paediatrician on his mobile and he said the cold, the crying, the wax pushing out and now the bloody discharge all point to an ear infection leading to a perforated ear drum - spelling out my worst fears. Luckily my presence of mind prevailed and I remembered that one of my neighbours is a senior ENT surgeon. He was kind enough to check baby before leaving for his clinic and said it is a perforation but the extent of it can be known only if checked under the microscope. I called the hubby back home from office (living 15 mins from the office has its advantages) - and we took him to the ENT clinic where the doc cleaned his ear and found a tiny perforation. Antibiotics, cold medication, ear drops, nose drops and lots of cuddles and hugs later, Atri is much better, but this is a big lesson I have learnt. Never ignore a baby who is crying much more than usual - it always means something. It is better to think of the worst than attributing it to cries of boredom or something non-serious.

My big question to doc was why did my baby get an infection - he is exclusively breast fed and we don't even expose him to the polluted environs of this city! He said it is very common, especially after a cold and nearly every baby has his share of ear infection. My biggest worry was the after effect of a perforation, but he said being a tiny one, it will heal by itself. As much as I want that we don't load baby's system with medications especially antibiotics, at times like these, we rarely have a choice.

----

Since two weeks I've been losing a hell of a lot of hair each day, I believe a week's hairloss is enough to weave a wig for a small head. So, I did keep my Saturday appointment at the salon to get my hair cut - however not in the style that I'd visualised. I wanted something wash and wear, managable and easily styled and the stylist said in his matter-of-fact way that the styles I wanted did not match with my requirements. Besides he convinced me to maintain the length. In short, it is the usual client proposes, stylist disposes. My hair has never ever been so long, thanks to all the humungous calcium pills I regularly popped through pregnancy. Anyway, I did manage to go to the salon leaving the dad and son to have some guy-times and manage to have my hair styled after ages which itself is a huge positive and a big reason to be happy, even though the end result was not as I'd imagined it would be. Is it ever?? Until then, I'm just going to make myself happy, trying out loads of hairstyles and haircolours and make up - virtually. Try it, it's loads of fun, I promise.

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I finally feel upto posting a pic of me with baby on Facebook :)

A perfect women's day!

2009-03-11T12:04:00.009+05:30

As I write this, we have shut every single window and door in our house to cut ourselves from the maniacal noises of bollywood songs blasting from every possible direction, one trying to out do the other in matters of boom-boom. (It is Holi today!) I haven't heard a track that is as much 'emosional attyachar' as the track that goes by the same words!! The husband has wisely shut his ears with his noise cancellation earphones and singing to his dear son, some favourite tracks from the pod and I am trying to watch the match while trying to immerse myself in some writing. Needless to say, we are driven crazy living in one of the noisiest neighbourhoods in the city (are there any quiet ones at all?)

----

Both the hubby and me are not big believers in any 'days', but we sometimes manage to surprise ourselves or each other. Not that it is actually related to this post.

The past Sunday was Women's day - even if we forgot we had 3 Sunday newspapers to remind us of it. That morning I decided to visit the salon close to my house (2 buildings away) instead of the usual one that is a bit far that I used to frequent in the days before I became momma. These days all things close by are preferred - due to the race against time to be back before Atri starts demanding his next feed. I had decided that it was time to get in shape - not the whole of me, just the eyebrows - as it is definitely the easier of the two. So eyebrows neatly threaded and feet tended to, talons painted a rose pink, I felt like a new woman. Routine things of the past seem like the luxury nowadays, which I guess is a part of becoming a mother, our needs clearly (and willingly) sent to the back seat.

In the afternoon, we decided to test-drive the Mothercare carrier (I call it the space suit)for the second time. We hit one of the newer malls in the suburbs, which has wider corridors, lesser crowds, espcially in the late afternoons. The husband and me also managed to eat Natural icecream in the food court - I cant remember the last time we ate together :) so this was quite a celebration. We didn't want to outstay our welcome ( read time allotted to us by Atri) so we made a dash home after doing a good amount of window shopping. He seemed pretty comfortable in the carrier throughout except for the time we are trying to get him into the space suit and figure out how to affix the numerous buckles and straps.

The third outing of the day was the building gettogether party we attended in our terrace, the first we have attended in over three years of living here. The highlight of the evening was some fantastic food catered by an authentic Tamil caterer who on learning that we are Tamil insisted on serving us with double the gusto! The party was on the poolside and the breeze was just superbly cool - I rushed downstairs to get some cotton to be plugged into Atri's ears, but his superactive hands pulled them out twice, after which I gave up. I'm surprised he could sleep in his carrier on daddy's tummy even as the speakers blared out the same old bollywood hits (is there any function that happens here without the DJs dishing out this fare in full blast?)! The funny bit is that we tiptoe and shush each other around the house when he is sleeping so that we don't disturb the Lord and there he manages to sleep in ear splitting music - so Atri's first party was a very positive experience, giving us hope for many more in the future. After a couple of hours upstairs watching the couple games and straws-stuck-in-the-head catwalks to 'Fashion ka hai yeh jalwa' I came back home leaving the hubby to have his grub, managing to catch the Filmfare awards from 9 pm -11 pm after which I decided to call it a day. BTW Deepika Padukone seemed so dead in her compering - did the others think so, or is it just me? I always liked her!

So a record three outings in one day surely made this woman's day PERFECT!

Q1 results

2009-03-05T16:33:00.007+05:30

Dear Baby,

You completed your first quarter yesterday and equally exciting news is that I completed the first quarter of momhood. It is a weird phenomenon where each day is so full, long and tiring and then weeks fly past us in a blur. From being completely at sea and overwhelmed when we brought you home on 8th December to today, we have matured as parents, as people.

The past 3 months, were a lesson in patience, love, selflessness and everything else that we had to learn to take care of the little helpless life in our hands - You. Today, I wont claim too much, but I am more confident that I can take care of you - and if we've done alright in the first three months, we wont err too much in catering to your needs - which for now are only milk and loads of love (this includes regular bum cleaning, singing, reading, rocking, hugging, kissing et al).

Your smiles have both dad and me weak in our knees. Especially the goofy smiles you give us when cleaning an especially big poopy job - it does make the smells more bearable :)

Your gaze is more fixed and I'm amazed how even boring stuff like curtains can hold your attention so.

You were born with a good head of hair, but your attempts at pulling them out with one hand while trying to stick the whole of the other hand into your little mouth, is not helping their growth. I try giving you a cloth to hold so that your poor head can be spared, but since you are a man of determination - you refuse to accept my offer.

You've become a pro at looking at dad and me, from time to time with your lower lip pouting out so cutely that we'll throw anything that's in our hands (yes even the laptop or expensive crystal) to attend to whatever it is that's troubling you. Such is the power of your little pink lower lip. I've always found this the cutest trait in babies and you've been reminding me of it since the last one month. Sometimes it's a prelude to a cry and sometimes you just make use of the lip alone to summon your slaves. What power!

The head holding bit, you managed to get that alright from the end of the first month itself, which the maushi (massage lady) gives herself all credit for and of course to me for getting her in so quickly on the job. Now when I put you on your tummy to give your bum some 'air time', you left your head perfectly well and even manage to do some push ups on your chubby little arms.

You've developed a huge fascination for your hands - and spare no effort in sticking one or both of them into your mouth. It can keep you occupied for a long time, well long enough for me to have my afternoon nap. Since your doctor declared that it is an important development milestone, we are in no way trying to get in the way of this love between you and your hand. Actually, it is this love that has got in the way of you turning on your tummy. About 6 weeks ago, your desire to get on your tummy was so fervent, that you'd try, try, try and then cry in frustration that you are not able to get there. But today this desire lies blissfully forgotten and I can see that your favourite rhyme is going to be 'One luscious, two luscious, three luscious lollipops'.

Your day time sleep has gone down sharply but since you sleep and let me sleep as well for most of the night, I don't mind keeping you entertained during the day.
You come up with a new word almost everyday. It started with 'Agooo' and now it includes many more like 'Tll', 'Dll', 'Khoo khoo', 'Gaai' and something that even sounds like 'Google'. I wont be surprised at the last one as my googling had sharply increased during pregnancy. Mornings and afternoons post-nap are the best times to have a meaningful conversation with you and I have noticed that you are happier to talk to me if I keep your bum free of nappies and diapers and pajamas. You will admit I am a very observant mom :)

Your legs are getting stronger (read kicks) especially when a hassled poor mom is trying to keep your bum dry by changing your nappy regularly. Also when I make an appearance at your crib after being absent for exactly 2 and a half minutes, you kick away in excitement as though you haven't seen me for months! When I hold you upright, the slightest something coming under your feet, you push down and do a jump of sorts - for which (also) maushi gives herself a lot of credit.

You've also learnt to stay alone with your mommy all day since you were two months old. I know it can be a bit boring seeing just one face apart from the house help and maushi's but what to do darling, something's gotta give!

I may have missed out on some things, but post pregnancy my memory has done a nosedive and I have no time or inclination to do a google on that.

Overall, we've been having a whale of a time, not counting the times I cry with you when you cry inconsolably for some reason, or when I feel I'm not keeping up with mommy duties as well as I should, or when I crave to go out and mingle with the rest of humanity.

It's a very long post this time, but hey its the First Quarter result after all.

A few more months / years down and we'll (me and dad) be reading this post fondly.

Lots of love and kisses to the pouty boy.
Mommy

Isn't it a reason...

2009-03-02T16:33:00.003+05:30

...to jump with joy when baby has slept an 8 hour stretch at night?

This miracle happened for the first time Saturday night as Atri decided to give his mom a weekend treat of an extended snooze. I was praying that he does a repeat of it Sunday night, but who says miracles happen every~~day~~night? He was back to his 6 hour stretch last night, and I'm really not complaining :)

Taking multitasking to new heights

2009-03-02T16:17:00.003+05:30

Indian Goddesses have always been portrayed as having many pairs of hands. Alas, I am not one and I seem to be sorely missing another pair.

Some examples of multitasking since Atri was born -

1. Checking on facebook while filling hot water in his tub and keeping an eye on the sambar bubbling on the stove. I need FB to know what goes on in the world outside baby and me.

2. Shaking the rattle with one hand while holding tea cup with the other and keeping baby's rocker going with one foot (this one takes my dexterity to new levels)
Why rattle and rock at the same time you may ask? This was discovered by my Mom in law and me that the rattle distracts him from crying and the rocking motion makes him drowsy - in the initial days I would find it difficult to handle two different movements with two different hands, but as they say - practice does make a ~~man~~ mom perfect.

3. Listening to FM radio (even though it sucks), catching up on reading during an extended nursing session

Looks like I'll totally forget to do one thing at a time. Isn't that a core competency of moms anyway?

A new day everyday

2009-02-25T16:32:00.005+05:30

If I thought that Atri sleeping soundly for a minimum of 2 hours after his massage & bath at 12 was the only constant factor in my life, well I said it too soon. Either that or that our little boy is growing up. From the time we came back from the hospital till he was 4-5 weeks, he would be totally doped out after his massage, falling asleep even as the massage 'maushi' was swaddling him (there's a lot to be said about her, which could be featured in many posts, if I find the time). Later, she had to put him in his cradle and rock him to sleep. Then after 2 more weeks she had to rock, pat and sing to him and he would sleep. Now the massage, bath, swaddling, rocking, patting, singing has an effect of max 45 minutes, after which he is wide awake - sometimes crying, or sometimes just saying baa, boo or whatever it is in his vocabulary that 'look, i don't want to sleep anymore'- and there goes my chance of eating a peaceful lunch as I catch something on the telly and then an hour's snooze to refresh me for the rest of the afternoon, evening and night.

Another change has come about in our lives in the sleep department. Since Atri turned two months old, he started clocking the magical 5 hours at a stretch at night, qualifying for the 'sleeping through the night' crown. How 5 hours is called sleeping through the night, especially for us tired adults, beats me, but hey it is much better than being woken up every 2 hours or so. The funny part is that this has led him to awake (and crying?) for a few more hours in the day - so it compensates more or less. The night sleep is divided by a feeding session anytime between 1.30 am and 2.30 am depending on when he went off to sleep in the beginning. He then wakes up anywhere between 5 and 6 am so we really couldn't be complaining as regards his nocturnal protocol. He's being quite generous in letting us 'sleep through the night' even before he completes his 3rd month. A huge "touch wood" here, as I really value the 6-7 hours of sleep I get at night [Hey, whats with us new parents wanting to touch wood all the time, I was never a "wood toucher" before Atri came along!!]

The other thing that he's really caught onto is sucking his whole hand and sometimes both of them as though his life depended on it. Thankfully I am not obsessed about pulling his hand out or trying to wean him of thumb sucking (as he doesn't suck just the thumb!!) - or it would be one more thing to obsess about. On the contrary I find it rather cute - especially the noises that come out of it - and sometimes they are so loud that even as he's at it in his crib in our bedroom, I can hear it in the living room with the telly on. My doc says this mouthing phase is natural, a development milestone in fact and nothing to worry about. No wonder I read that sucking hand or mouthing is no longer a hunger cue once baby crosses 8 weeks. Yeah right, after that it is just their idea of fun. Atri gets so obsessed with his hand that sometimes the hand slipping out of the mouth is a reason to break out into a LOUD wail (series of them). Little dude, you'll learn soon that saliva makes things slippery and your hand is bound to slip out :) and one of my best friends is a dentist so I am not worried about any teeth imperfections if your hand-sucking habit persists.

Ever since my in-laws left for Madras early this month, I have been learning to manage stuff on my own. I finish all chores including my bath and cooking lunch plus most of dinner prep before 8 am - eat breakfast before 8.30 am - that's when S leaves for work. Then my whole day is at the king's disposal. The confidence boost that one gets in being able to manage a new baby on your own is really big. The depression and anxiety I felt when my inlaws left has slowly given way to a new calm and bonding with baby - where I can talk / sing / dance for him without feeling conscious. Well, the calm and bonding is there for most of the day, except on some evenings where the boy decides that mom has had too much calm for the day, hey - it's wailing time and I start to cry again. So my avatars correspond to my son's. When he is peaceful and good, I am a confident mother in control and when he is uncontrollably crying, so am I :)

Today maushi came in a second time a while ago to give Atri a sponge bath ( I called her in as the hubby is going to be late today and he usually manages baby in the evenings) , and she even managed to put him to sleep. But our boy is not going to be fooled to sleep so easily. No sooner had she shut my door and reached the lobby of our building than he woke up gearing for an evening session of crankiness. I am typing this as I am rocking him with my foot under his rocker and for now he is quiet (hand in his mouth of course!)

Yesterday for dinner I made eggplant caponata and dear husband (encourager of my food blog) insisted i make a start with that divine dish. So I am planning on resuming food blogging hoping that it will make me feel better and more connected with the adult world :)

We've been busy here :)

2009-02-23T11:04:00.004+05:30

Each day is passing by so soon and I feel guilty that I have not been keeping any record of the happenings in the land where Atri rules. So many lovely moments are rushing past like a film on fast forward mode - so fast that if I don't record now, these memory files will be soon replaced by newer ones and unlike computer files, it's not going to ask my permission before it gets replaced. Some of those memories are so beautiful that I cannot bear to let them fade into oblivion. Hence the desperate attempt to get back to this blog - to preserve these precious moments forever.

Dear Choturam*,

You are in your 12th week now - well there's still time to reach the landmark of completing 3 months, when you'll no longer be called a newborn! The week and month disparity has baffled me right since pregnancy. (I'm weak in mathematics anyway - so you know whom to take your Maths homework to!)

Your social smiles that started at around 9 weeks have blossomed into goofy smiles, noisy smiles (would that qualify as a laugh?), winking smiles, gummy smiles (I can't say toothy, that's why) - and lots more. You knows to smile as the occasion demands - and since your dad is not much of a 'smiler' (more the strong and silent types) - I can proudly say you get your smiling genes from me.

Your movements are more co-ordinated than before, and the cycling / boxing movements get really fast and furious when mommy stands in front of you :) If this is your way of thanking me for all the prompt nappy changes, you're welcome darling!

We bought a carrier from Mothercare, choosing the 3 way as per your dad's wishes. Trying to go with something simpler I thought the 2 way would be a better option. It does turn out that with all the velcro fasteners and tight buckles, putting this contraption on is more like putting on a space suit. It took me two days to learn how to get this thing on myself and 5 days to figure out how to get you into it and 2 more days to figure out how to put on all the fasteners without getting your hands or toes squeezed inbetween the straps and buckles. Each time I tried to do a practice session carrying you inside, you would start howling, not having the patience to wait for mom to search and put on all the fasteners. Finally yesterday afternoon we decided to take you for a mall outing (rather take ourselves for the much deserved outing - see humanity at large and get back some semblance of our past lives) putting you in the carrier as mom and dad look around in the shops (turned out to be just mom as dad was busy carrying you). It was a bit scary trying out the thing at the site with no prior practice, almost like giving an extempore speech. However, we managed pretty okay in the parking lot (putting you in the carrier i mean) and you did not seem too angry with us for doing this to you. It was fun actually, and for a full 65 minutes you let us roam in peace, watching the shop windows, entering some shops, buying stuff (things that normal people actually do :) ). I said 65 minutes, not rounding it off to the nearest whole ie.one hour - very deliberately, as every minute of being able to roam free counted a lot towards making me feel better. Just looking at the hustle bustle of people around gave my mental state a good boost. Since you were so co-operative with us, we plan to do this a lot more in the coming weekends.

I've been home alone with you since exactly two weeks now and I must say the going has been pretty good. I'm not as scared or worried as I was 15 days earlier as to how I'll manage by myself. My self-confidence and bonding with you is getting better and better. I'm actually learning to have a good time with you as a little person, whether it's nursing you or cleaning your messy bum, remembering all the time the wise words from one of my dearest friends - "Consider parenting as a gift and not as a responsibility and you'll feel a lot lot better". I must make a special mention here that the beautiful heart-melting smiles you shower me with help me a lot when I'm stressed.

Here's to my little stress buster!

Love and cuddles
Mom

*This is to state that Atri, Choturam and Bumble are one and the same. His name keeps changing as per his parents' moods.

Questions at 3 weeks

2008-12-26T11:30:00.003+05:30

Baby turned 3 weeks old yesterday and each day is proving to be a new kind of challenge. Feeding schedules are turning out to be different each day - the sleeping schedule even more awry. Only thing that's been consistent is the 3 hour odd deep slumber after the massage lady does her thing at 12 noon and that is the one thing my pediatrician wants me to stop right away and take in my hands. He doesn't know what he is asking for as it means changing the only constant factor in my life these days - a two hour uninterrupted post-lunch nap for me in the afternoon.

First I thought demand feeding would be good as my baby's demand was coming in once every 2-3 hours. Then when he would sleep for 3 hours in the afternoon, there would be a gap of almost over 4 hours between two feeds, which would make me wonder if I should wake him up in the middle for a quick feed. Last night was such that he was waking me up every 90 minutes for a 30 minute plus feed, which meant I was up for over an hour feeding, burping and nappy changing every one and a half hours - and this continued upto 10 in the morning when he has finally gone to sleep. I did read about growth spurts that happen at certain weeks in babies when their demand goes up suddenly for a few days. I hope it is just that and it is a matter of a few days only - as I don't know if I can really handle the nightly sleep stretches being cut short by half from 3-4 hours to barely over an hour.

In the beginning when we brought baby home, I thought it was only feeding that was the big deal, so promptly kept a feed diary to make sure I was clocking in the said 8-12 feed sessions in 24 hours, which I was and baby would go off to sleep soon after every feed, without me having to fuss over him. Since the last 3 days I have added the sleep column to the diary to make sure he is not turning into a sleep deprived infant. In fact I worry so much about his sleep getting disturbed that I am scared to change his wet nappy in the middle of a snooze, waiting for him to wake up before I do it. The doc again has advised that i change him as soon as I notice and do it unobtrusively if he is sleeping! Yeah right.

As regards the massage and bath, after much dilly dallying I finally said yes to the massage lady who is charging me quite a sum for just massaging and bathing baby once a day, which takes her exactly 20 minutes. As it put baby to a peaceful sleep, I found her totally worth it, especially after I took the necessary precautions of asking her to wash her hands and feet with soap before starting on her mission and placing a clean washed sheet on her legs before she puts baby on it - especially as my baby is a lick-happy one. She comes in at 12 noon and so far I managed to finish feeding baby by 11.30 am, so that he can sleep undisturbed post the massage for as long as her wants to. The last 3 nights or so have been so hairy that both S and me are wondering if it will do good for us to give a warm water bath around 6 pm to put baby in restful mode. Given that we are in Bombay and even December is not really cold, should a repeat bath at 6 pm be alright? Even if we wanted to shift the massage and bath to around 9 am, the massage lady has too tight a schedule to adjust. I would really like to know the experience of the other moms on this. Is my baby having very short sleep stretches at night because of the 3 plus hour nap in afternoon, as I have read on some sites that baby shouldn't be sleeping more than 1 - 2 hours. So does that mean I might as well wake him up in the middle of his long nap for feed and nappy change, let him be awake for a while so that he manages to clock in more sleep at night than in the daytime.

Any answers from moms reading my blog will be highly appreciated :)

Apart from these issues, I am able to recognise 4-5 of baby's stock expressions, which always bring a smile to my face. More about this in my next post.

The birth story

2008-12-12T06:20:00.005+05:30

Our baby boy of 3.045 kg was born on 4th December, 8.07 am by an elective C section. While I was always pro normal labour, I gladly went with my doctor's decision of scheduling a C section as the baby's head in the 38th week was pretty HIGH up, in complete contrast to what he thought in the 30th week (that it was somewhat low down). In addition to this my BP had hiked up a bit and the ultrasound showed reduced liquor. Definitely not the kind to take foolish chances, we happily selected 'good dates' for the C section which happened to be 3rd Dec, 4th Dec and 6th Dec, out of which 4th, the Thursday was found good for the operation theatre booking at Breach Candy Hospital where we were registered for labour. Being Avittam nakshatram and the morning hours being the most auspicious, it couldn't get any better.

I got admitted in the hospital on the evening of 3rd (Wednesday), accompanied by my mom, in laws and S. We were all in an upbeat mood and in good cheer - it is kind of odd when you know the date your baby is going to be born, well in advance, and one cant help but feel elated at the prospect of holding baby on that date. Though this was to be my first ever major surgery, I was feeling quite relaxed and happy and enjoyed a full dinner later that evening, with hubby fondly looking over what I called my 'last supper' as a pregnant woman. Later the nurse came over to check if all my ornaments and any nail paint was removed (this is essential when one goes in for any surgery under anaesthesia to check for cyanosis ie. nails going blue due to lack of oxygen in blood). S was sweet enough to remove the paint off my fingers and toes treating me like a real princess. He was to sleep in my room in the couch that was provided. We decided to turn in early by 9.30 as I had to bathe and be ready by 6.30 am as my doc was coming in by 7.45 am. Also I was supposed to be NBM (nil by mouth) from 12 am onwards -which means nothing to be eaten - not even water after my last and final dose of BP medication.

I slept fitfully in 2-3 stretches and woke up by 5.30 am with all excitement of ushering in 4th December. After chatting with S for a while, I went in for my shower as the nurse brought in the gown that I was supposed to be wearing - a long white robe with full sleeves and full back open - to be tied by 3-4 strings (so much for modesty). I was at peace knowing that I wont have to walk upto the Operation Theatre giving a full view of my weighty backside to everyone around (most embarrassingly the family). As I was sitting with the Vishnu Sahasranamam running on my ipod, my mom and inlaws came into the room by 7 am. Before I could completely recite the sloka, the anesthetist came in and asked me to lie down for basic questioning regarding history and allergies and IV line insertion. She seemed like a pleasant lady and I felt in safe hands regarding my anaesthesia - we had agreed upon Spinal anaesthesia at my doc's recommendation. My dear friend P came in at this point as promised. So there were 5 people in all to see me off to the operation theatre.

7.30 am or so, I loaded myself on the stretcher (literally climbed up on the bed and onto the stretcher, back open gown, IV line and all) - the nurses covered me well to save me from embarrassment and I waved a cheery goodbye to my people. The exhilaration of meeting baby was so high that I had no fear what so ever of being cut open. It could also be because I had over 100% faith in my doctor.

My doc was in on time and the wardboys loaded me on the operation table. S was to come in changed once I was under anaesthesia. I was asked to sit up and bend for my spinal. As my anaesthetist gave me a local anaesthetic injection at the site on the spine, I hardly felt any pain of the spinal injection. So this part went off smoothly. I was asked to lie down at this point, and I could feel the numbness creeping up from my toes. I was asked if i could move my toes, and it was a weird feeling that the body was not obeying the commands from my brain. Once confirmed that I was anaesthetised - my doc started his work on me, with S sitting down by my side, holding my hand. I was reciting the Gayatri mantra and looking into S's eyes - it gave me all the strength I needed. We were probably just over 5 minutes into the surgery that I heard baby wail. My body was covered with goosebumps - in my excitement I even forgot to think if it was a boy or a girl. My anaesthetist then told me - Congrats- it's a boy! Our little one wailed and wailed and wailed. The paed was there to check on his Apgar scores and all that - and hubby managed to click a couple of pics as soon as baby was out and at the doc's insistence one with the baby placed on my chest - if there is anything called a Kodak moment, this was it. My doc collected the cord blood for preservation and my baby was taken away to the nursery for weighing, bath and clean up. S was shooed out at this point, so that he could pass on the good news to waiting family.
I was given a sedative so that the stitching up part could begin. It was all over in 30 minutes or so and I was out of the OT, lying on the stretcher - I held my doc's hand for a while, thanking him for everything - and asked him to convey the news to all the familiar friendly people in his clinic.
I was brought back to my suite in another 10 minutes with a severe attack of shivering which required a heater to placed near by head and heavy bath towels covering my ears.
S was busy fielding calls from family and friends - my mom had my mobile which she managed to keep busy for over an hour :) Everyone was ecstatic at baby's safe delivery.
It took a couple of hours to come out of anaesthesia and I was able to feel the pains of the uterus contracting - as the IV drip had pitocin meant to shrink back the uterus. It was not unbearable - and given that I had escaped bearing labour pains, I told myself, I should be able to take this at least without grumbling.
The nurses soon brought baby for nursing and thankfully he was sucking enthusiastically trying to extract the few drops of colostrum that he could manage. Late evening I was allowed my first few sips of water after almost 20 hours of having nothing by mouth. And tomato soup for dinner, which my mom spooned into my mouth. I managed to finish only half the bowl.

The catheter came off the following morning after which I was encouraged to walk to the bathroom. Getting up from the bed, and sitting down on the pot felt like sheer hell. The 4+ pints of IV fluids running into my veins wasn't helping the cause, making me want to get up every few hours. But the ordeal was worth it - early mobilisation after surgery really helps and each time the getting up and out of bed became easier and I became more confident about healing quickly.

The second day and the following two days essentially comprised of me and hubby familiarizing ourselves with our newborn, me learning to breastfeed at regular intervals. Ours was a hungry baby and no way was baby satisfied with the measly colostrum. The nurses said it was regular to give babies a top feed in the first three days before milk flow was established. With a heavy heart I agreed - after consulting my doc. Other than that, whenever baby cried due to a wet nappy - all we had to do was to press a button to call the nurses, who would promptly take away baby to nursery and get him fresh and changed. Baby was all of 4 days old on Monday morning, when I was allowed to go home with him. Baby was put into a diaper for the first time, given a good top feed so that we could commute the 80 odd minute drive back home without any hitches. He slept all through the way and we were home by 12.45 pm.

A new journey started then...

Are you engaged?

2008-11-11T18:26:00.003+05:30

Constipation has never been one of my life's problems and luckily enough it hasn't dogged me in pregnancy either, even after I started iron supplements. Since the last 2 weeks my doc has added an extra dose of iron supplement as my hemoglobin has fallen from 12 to 10. This has managed to create some problems in bowel movement, so much so that since yesterday I have been feeling pressure and some pain in the lower pelvis. It goes away on lying down and increases on walking around or getting up from sitting position.

Since we are just two days away from entering the 9th month, I just read the 9th month chapter in What to Expect (the pregnancy Bible) . It says that 'engagement' can happen anytime 4 weeks before labour - and reading about the symptoms makes me wonder if it must have happened in my case - leading to the pressure symptoms, extra sensitive bladder (night time loo calls gone up from just once to two times now) etc.

Another site gives some detailed info on the pressure symptoms which seems to sum up my case very well -

Pelvic floor pressure:

Once the baby has dropped into position or engagement has occurred, you may feel pressure on the pelvic floor. The head of the baby is pressing very snugly against the cervix now and will continue to do so until birth. You may feel as if you need to move your bowels, the pressing down of the head causes a feeling of fullness and pressure very similar to that. Some women who have had several children might experience some pain. Many women might have trouble walking or feel as if their hips are not working properly. A hard feeling to describe even to doctors, if you are experiencing this odd and painful experience you might feel at the end of your rope trying to find an answer. This pain is stemming from a large tendon that weakens in each pregnancy. The tendon forms a sort of 'saddle' and the stress of engagement may cause pain after sitting or lying down, then standing. To help avoid this pain, try to walk and get exercise to strengthen this area early in your pregnancy.

This is exactly what I told my doc on phone today - that I just cant explain what exactly is happening, because it is all too vague. Anyway, after a dose of Duphalac laxative tonight, we are planning to see him tomorrow - 3 days before our scheduled visit.

Has anyone else experienced similar symptoms when your baby's head got engaged? Please share!

I have managed to make the final list of things to take to the hospital and the bag packing will start today...will post the list tomorrow for benefit of those who might be looking for such information!

Reporting from the 35th week

2008-11-10T17:35:00.005+05:30

Diwali was a quiet affair with the two of us hanging around at home for most of the five days except for Diwali night Laxmi Pooja at Preeti's followed by a yummy traditional Marwari dinner and a lunch on the following day at the Govinda restaurant of the Hare Rama Hare Krishna temple which lead to much stomach ache due to going overboard with the buffet! I swore not to get tempted with good food again, as there is so little space for the stomach to expand. Bumble must have raised hell inside due to the space jostle :) We remembered the word stoma-cha-chee from an episode in Everybody Loves Raymond, which is nothing but Debra's way of teasing Ray for the word stomach-ache.

On Diwali night we enjoyed the fireworks from our 9th floor balcony - watching the skies over the Andheri-Juhu coastline come alive with brilliant displays of coloured lights. S ofcourse with a shot of Hennessey and me, just like that!

Just so that Bumble knows, 2nd November when we had a small function to bless baby (Valaikappu) was the first time in 3 years that our house had most of our family in together under our roof. Most of our relatives who could make it, did so, that too in the early hours of Sunday morning. This is a less elaborate version of Seemantham, which involves many more rites and rituals. Valaikappu essentially involves older ladies of the household making the pregnant woman wear bangles which are seen as a kind of protection to the baby. I did not know that there were a pair of gold and silver bangles that have been passed on from two generations over me - and every pregnant woman on my maternal side has worn the same bangles during her similar function. We missed S's parents as they are scheduled to come here after 3 weeks anyway.

Apart from these highlights of the past few weeks, the trigger finger is gone...and the numbness of fingers in the early mornings is much less than before. The pelvic pressure / pubic pain on turning around in bed or getting up from lying down remains.

Energy wise I am feeling quite alright compared to the last few weeks and just as What to Expect...says - the movements are more squirms than kicks nowadays and we can almost feel a knee or the heel on my upper abdomen and they feel like good pokes from the inside.

We are tying to get organised on the baby requirements and my hospital bag which in all probability should be packed by end of week, because our 36th week starts on Friday and we want to be well prepared. Having seen a number of 'what to pack' lists on websites and in books, I have a fair idea on what should go into the list.

Suddenly I seem to be getting baby clothes from everywhere....Preeti's SIL putting together a hand-stitched package from Indore, another friend with a huge bag of baby T's clothes that she has outgrown, my other friend putting a basket together and lastly but not the least, my MIL getting their family tailor to stitch all kinds of baby requirements in 2-3 sizes. Bumble, with all this coming in, your mamma will not be shopping for you in a long while :) - at least that's what I feel now!

A before-schedule doc visit and before schedule USG

2008-10-17T19:58:00.003+05:30

Last week thanks to a mild stretching kind of pain in the nether regions, I decided to ask doc if it is of any concern. According to my own research it could have been the normal stretching of the round ligaments due to increase in size of the uterus. The round ligaments are supports which originate on the sides of the uterus, run through the inguinal canals, and insert on the side walls of the vagina and even inner thigh. This description quite matched the region of my pain and a piece of advice on storknet.com further confirmed it.

Round ligaments are the ligaments that support the uterus, and they get stretched (like a rubber band) during pregnancy. This stretching is worse when you move or bend, and less when you lie still, particularly on your side with your legs curled up. Try moving slowly, taking a warm bath, or using a heating pad. Knowing that this pain may be severe but is not serious or problematic for you or the baby may help, too.

Anyway, my doc asked me to come by and see him for my mental peace - as we always take any info from the web with a pinch of salt. On examination, BP was still on the higher side of normal, due to which I was started on AlphaDopa immediately. Plus on examination of my belly, he found the head on the lower side due to which he also put me on uterine relaxant Bricanyl (which is also a druf for asthma). Two steroid shots were also prescribed one that day and one on the next for fetal lung maturity, all this just to be on the safer side.

The next day was another story. Bumble who used to kick and box frantically all day long until then suddenly decided to go lazy - making me wait and watch for kicks like a maniac and I didn't find them coming with the same intensity or frequency, despite turning around, poking around and even pleading to Bumble! This is going to be one stubborn baby with a mind of its own! Friday morning, I lost it. S was traveling from work and I couldn't take this. Called doc and told him I want to go for an ultrasound, even though the previous day he told it could be because i had started taking a uterine relaxant, but I just wanted to very sure that Bumble is OK.

After making 5-6 calls, I finally landed an appointment in NM Bandra. It was such a relief to lie on the table and watch Bumble doing his/her thing inside, tumbling around, kicking around and doing vague hand gestures, as if saying "Hi Mama, I just wanted to get you on this table, now go back home and relax". At my doc's recommendation, we also did a colour doppler to check blood flow aroudn baby which turned out A Ok. So I came back home with plenty of thanks in my heart that Bumble is fine, just having one of it's lazy days. Needless to say, now the kicking is back in full swing and aren't we happy to have that mode of communication with Bumble back!

Just entered the 32nd week, officially 6 more weeks to call this journey FULL TERM!! So our countdown is on!

Into the third trimester

2008-10-03T12:21:00.003+05:30

We entered the final third of the journey on 19th September (starting of 28th week) or is it the end of 28 weeks? This is a bit confusing but given my EDD of 19th December, this gives us three months more.
Here are some notes from the third trimester.

My fingers (especially of the right hand) getting number when I wake up in the morning - and the funny problem of dealing with the trigger ring finger, which opens with a clickety click. Running hot water in the basin while brushing my teeth over my fingers helps in relieving the numbness quite a bit. The numbess and pins and needles sensation is known to be pretty common later in pregnancy due to water retention and pressure inside the carpal tunnel.
I enjoy keeping my feet over two pillows while I sleep...I'm probably going to get used to this extra comfort that I may continue to crowd the bed with pillows even after Bumble's birth.
At last visit, my doc said I have gained roughly 8 kgs in the previous two months, which is a little over my personal estimate from my home weighing machine. Having eliminated consumption of papads, sauces and pickles from my diet, i guess my weight has remained pretty constant over the last one week - since I was not binging on unhealthy food anyway, my presumption is that most of the rapid weight gain was due to excess water retention. My BP has also therefore come down to the usual 70 diastolic from the slightly overboard 84.
I'm enjoying fresh oranges of the season, at least one a day, this apart from the antenatal vitamin-iron pill. I hope Bumble loves oranges too, as we can enjoy them together when he/she is old enough and indulge in pip spitting contests while we are at it (in the garden of course)
The belly is looking BIG enough now that no one can mistake it for a paunch.
Bumble's kicks have now progressed from being felt only by mom to being visible to dad in the external world and to anyone else I may care to show :) The ripple on the surface of the belly was wonderful to share with S as apart from patiently keeping a hand on the belly to wait for that moody baby inside to kick - there is another sign for him to experience and enjoy.

Manathil Uruthi Vendum

2008-09-07T07:16:00.005+05:30

Bumble,
This is a Sunday morning song dedication for you.

This is one of Amma's all time favourite songs, and it's not like I'm good with too many Tamil songs or with great Bharatiyaar's poetry, but this is one that has stuck to me, because of the lyrics, the music - the whole package. It starts off directly and it hits where it must without much rambling around. We will discover more of Bharatiyaar and his poetry when you are with us! One of our joint discoveries on culture....for now I just hope you are listening to this song and kicking away in appreciation just as I am enjoying it too over a cup of hot filter kaapi! (it's my rare treat mind you - don't want you on caffiene highs so early in life) and sorry if my coughing disturbed you at night.

Have a lovely Sunday baby!

Getting kicked and loving it!

2008-09-06T19:21:00.007+05:30

It's been a wonderfully euphoric feeling since the last 3 weeks or so, and more in recent times, when Bumble has begun to assert its existence in our lives with regular kicks and punches.

It all started with the customary, 'Is it or is is not?' feeling, but with the calcium tablets reaching Bumble's bones the kicks cannot be mistaken for anything else. Funnily, yesterday I napped off in the afternoon with the latest Harlan Coben thriller sitting on my bump and imagine my surprise when I saw the book moving thanks to the pushes from beneath it! It's almost like Bumble is saying, forget your nap and pay me some attention Momma!

Bumble kicks the most when we are in a theater watching a movie - while we make all attempts not to watch the horror / violence types - the Dolby surround sound is enough to get baby all kicked up and starts kicking with all the enthusiasm in the little limbs - it all started with Singh is Kinng, which S and me both hated to be watching, a complete ham of a movie and we were convinced that baby shares our taste in movies, and is kicking in protest. Next was Mumbai Meri Jaan, which did not have any of the noisy songs or sound track and yet I found myself being punched relentlessly in all directions. When we saw Rock On, which had fabulous music that I couldn't help rocking in my seat, Bumble started doing the same, and we had to assume that Bumble shares our taste of good music :) It's upto us to assume the reason for the kicks and its fun to do the guesswork.

I haven't noticed any particular times for the increased activity, although it is said that babies get more active after a carb rich drink or meal since it gets more energy at that point of time. But if I have to choose a time where I most often get the hellos from inside its around 7-8 pm and then some more before I go to sleep. It's just odd that whenever S wants to feel the kicks on my bump and he patients spreads out his palms and waits, it's been unrewarded so far....almost as if Bumble is teasing his/her dad, that hey i know what you're waiting for and I'm going to make you wait some more. S was complaining sweetly to Bumble in one of the nightly 'dad talk sessions to the bump'* that you've not given me a single kick to feel so far!! I am hoping S gets to experience the beauty of feeling baby within soon and Baby Bumble obliges him with a nice kick that he can feel :)

* It is found that babies whose dads talk to them when they are in utero recognise their voices when they are born and can bond more easily.
Read some interesting stuff about 'Belly talk' here.

Milestones so far

2008-09-06T18:48:00.002+05:30

Reporting from the 26th week of pregnancy - and trying to recollect the events so far before I forget them

14th March - LMP

14th April - Home pregnancy test - positive
Beta HCG - indicates 4-5 weeks pregnant

21st April - Repeat Beta HCG indicates levels well risen

2nd May - 1st Ultrasound (Dating and viability scan) which indicates pregnancy of 5-6 weeks
Informed both would-be grandparents

14th June - 2nd Ultrasound (first trimester - nuchal scan)
Baby corresponds to 13 weeks since LMP

20th June - Prophylactic cervical cerclage under GA

19th July - 3rd Ultrasound (Anomaly scan)
Baby's measurements correspond to the 18 weeks of gestation
Weight 220 grams
EDD - 20th December 2008

9th August onwards baby Bumble starts kicking in all earnest while we were watching Singh is Kinng

This is for you

2008-08-27T11:50:00.000+05:30

Bumble. That's what we call you now as we don't know if you are a little boy or a girl! Bumble is cute enough for both, has got that ring to it. Now that I've been feeling you kick inside me is the perfect time to start bonding with you and tell you the story of how it all started - the journey of the last 5 months and more.

Until then keep kicking, keep growing stronger and come along in December to complete our lives.
Love
Your Mum :)